I’m going to let you in on a little secret here, I’m kind of a simple chick. I’m not really into “fine” anything (china, furs, jewels), except for fine dining, that I can get behind any day of the week. A couple of years ago, though my husband (you might see a pattern emerging here, my husband gives me a lot of great stuff, he’s awesome), got me a great leather messenger bag at the Ren Faire. At the time, they were like “a breeze to take care of…” blah, blah, blah, mink oil, blah blah… At least, that’s what I heard of what they were saying.
Fast forward to now, my bag is looking a little dry and skanky. Needing something awesome to carry my awesome new laptop in, that mink oil tidbit popped into my mind.
Rewind again, we bought our house from this single lady a few years ago, and from what I can gather, this lady WAS into fine things, and she had accidentally left a few of them behind. One was a little Revere copper bottomed pan that I actually use from time to time, and another was a little box on the stairway down to the cellar which contained some shoe polish and some (wouldn’t you know?!) Mink Oil. My shoes are more the clean up with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser ilk than the “shoe polish” kind…
Re-Fast Forward to now, I decided to give it a shot. Now, first off, let me say that Mink Oil, like Coconut Oil in my opinion is a misnomer. It’s solid at room temperature, so first off, I move we change the name to Mink Butter. I can understand why they didn’t do it in the first place, though, because Mink Butter sounds like the grossest thing on the planet. Ok, for it’s anti nausea properties, we will continue to call it Mink
So, I read the instructions on the authentic Mink
Butter Oil, and I proceed to pick the body of the bag, under the flap to start with. It has a particularly dry and scaly spot anyway. Here I am slathering Mink Butter onto my amazing bag and praying. Then as I’m praying that my great bag doesn’t just turn to a big disgusting mess, I start thinking about Mink Butter Oil. Where the heck does it come from? I mean, I understand that Minks are oily because they swim a lot in cold water, etc, etc, etc… So I know where it comes from, but I guess the more important question is how does it come to be in a little tub in the stairwell to my basement and I’m not rubbing an actual mink on my Great Leather Ren Faire Messenger bag*?! What is the process of oiling a mink? Is it called oiling a mink (like it’s called milking a cow)? Are there mink farmers? Do they get up at 6 am to “oil the minks”? How many minks do you have to oil in order to get this tub?
At this point, I’ve said them so many times in my head, that both Mink and Oil have ceased to be words in the English language (does that happen to you, too?)…
Long story even longer, the Mink
Butter Oil worked great, and my bag, after a little buffing from a now official rag/hand towel is soft, moist, flexible, albeit a little bit greezy feeling again. And it only mildly smells like a mink.**
That’s what I do/think about while I am designing my next quilt/playing/struggling with EQ7… Now, back to work.
**Or so I would imagine